Feminism Does Not Equal Revenge

Jemima looks blank. "So anyway," she says at last, turning back to me. "I'd be delighted to help. Revenge is actually quite a specialty of mine, though I say it myself..."

I avoid Lissy's eyes. "What did you have in mind?"

"Scrape his car, shred his suits, sew fish inside his curtains and wait for them to rot..." she reels off instantly, as though reciting poetry.

"Did you learn that at finishing school?" says Lissy, rolling her eyes.

"I'm being a feminist, actually," retorts Jemima. "We women have to stand up for our rights."
~ (276) from "Can You Keep a Secret?" by Sophie Kinsella

This statement is, of course, ironic. "We women" do need to stand up for our rights, but standing up for our rights is not the same thing as exacting revenge, but popular culture seems to have this issue confused. I remember when the movie "The First Wives' Club" premiered-the movie was about a group of wives who had been cheated on and so exact revenge upon their ex-husbands. This movie was touted as being very feminist, but I was uncomfortable for revenge is NOT the same thing as feminism. True feminists want equality, not revenge. We want men to understand that the patriarchy hurts them too. As Emma, the main character in Kinsella's book later explains, "[...]a real relationship is two-way. A real relationship is based on equality. And trust."

I think it is very interesting that the character that grows into more of a feminist never claims to be one and I find that to be telling of life in general. Watch advertisements closely-if something tells you outright that it is a feminist material, examine it to see if it actually is or if it is pseudo empowerment, like the movie "First Wives' Club." True female empowerment will use words like "self love," "equality," and "trust," instead of promoting violence.

Janet Evanovich's "To The Nines" Stigmatizes

This is cross-posted on my other site: Hope is Real!

On the way back from Maryland, which is a twelve hour drive, my family listened to a Janet Evanovich book on CD titled, "To The Nines." This is the second time that I have listened to one of her books and they are good in that they make you laugh while driving, which helps one not to fall asleep. I loved listening to my dad laugh! But Evanovich relies too heavily on stereotypes. Every bit of her writing is a stereotype and the woman who reads aloud makes me uncomfortable with her caricature of a black woman's voice. But what I really do not like about this particular book is the references to "crazy" people, especially with those who have paranoid schizophrenia.

Twice, when a character is suspicious about the killer being around, she is asked if she had seen a "paranoid schizophrenic around back." The meme about paranoid schizophrenic being dangerous and violent is not true, but it is a very damaging stigma. I know that mysteries are often formulaic and use stereotypes and that's fine, but I do have a problem when the stereotypes enforces a dangerous idea. People who happen to have paranoid schizophrenia usually are not violent. In fact, since they are experiencing paranoia, they are usually more withdrawn. There are some people with paranoid schizophrenia who are violent-just like there are violent people who do NOT have it, but it is rare. Some of the nicest people I have known have paranoid schizophrenia.

I hope you have noticed that when I write about this that I always write about people with paranoid schizophrenia and never "those paranoid schizophrenics." People that have any kind of disease have more to them than just their disease-a person with paranoid schizophrenia may be artistic, studious, humorous, etc. When one reduces someone to just their disease, then one disregards their humanity and the possibility to see Christ in their eyes.

Another thing that just kills me about saying something like that is that Evanovich alienated her reader, which as any writer knows, is the biggest writing no-no. I have schizoaffective disorder, which has similarities to paranoid schizophrenia, so every time I heard the characters talk about paranoid schizophrenics in a derogatory manner, I felt a little stigmatized myself. "Crazy" people read and listen to books on CD! We do many things-our repertoire of activities is not limited to pacing up and down mental hospitals, contrary to popular belief.

Eventually, I would like to be published and I get a little scared sometimes when I realize what sells and that my standards are higher. But I know that I must keep on writing, even if nothing I write ever gets sold.

Remember Your Past, But Honor The Good

In the section of Monica A. Coleman's book, "Making a Way Out of No Way," that I am reading, she is discussing the importance of remembering our ancestors. Our ancestors still influence our lives and it is important to remember their lives, although one should only honor and repeat the parts of their lives that was positive and loving. She talks about how so many African Americans today do not know much, if anything, about their own ancestors and how detrimental that loss is. As an adopted person who does not know much about her birth parents, I have strongly identified with this aspect of many African Americans' lives. I know that my adopted father's side of the family's ancestry is Welsh and that my adopted mother's is French. In fact, I can through her claim famous roots - she is related to Meriwether Lewis, of the "Lewis and Clark" fame and she is related to the horrendous slave owner who cut off part of Kunte Kente's foot in Alex Haley's "Roots." When I first heard that as a teen, I was at first horrified, but Coleman says that all stories of our ancestors are important, for there is something to learn from each-just not always something to honor. I also know that on my birth mother's side there is ancestry from English, Swedish, and Irish peoples, but that is really all I know. There is a yearning inside of me to know more about where I come from and an unsureness about whether to adopt my adoptive parents', i.e. my real parents, ancestors as my own, for some reason.

Besides always feeling a kinship to African Americans for this reason, I have also always felt a kinship with Langston Hughes after reading his poem, "The Negro Speaks of Rivers."

I've known rivers:
I've known rivers ancient as the world and older than the
flow of human blood in human veins.

My soul has grown deep like the rivers.

I bathed in the Euphrates when dawns were young.
I built my hut near the Congo and it lulled me to sleep.
I looked upon the Nile and raised the pyramids above it.
I heard the singing of the Mississippi when Abe Lincoln
went down to New Orleans, and I've seen its muddy
bosom turn all golden in the sunset.

I've known rivers:
Ancient, dusky rivers.

My soul has grown deep like the rivers

I think I resonate so deeply with this poem, because like the speaker, I have never met these people or been to these places, except New Orleans, and yet, because I do not have specific stories about deep rooted ancestors, I identify with a large group of people that have gone before me. I consider all womyn to be my ancestor and us all to be from the same family.

I really love that Coleman points out that we should remember all our ancestors, but only honor some. In the American South, one often hears about honoring The Old South's "heritage." When I was younger, my state and many other states, argued about whether it should leave the rebel emblem on its state flag, with many supporters saying that to abandon the emblem is to abandon our heritage. I say, "Bullshit!" Yes, we must remember the bad as well as the good in our heritage, but to keep the rebel sign on our flag and in many other ways, is to honor that old image and the racism and intolerance is not a way that should be honored. As this year comes to a close, let us remember the past, but choose to honor only the good.

Inspirational Quote for the Day

For example, a black man in America is oppressed in a racist society. If God is the God of the oppressed, then God is on his side. But if this black man abuses his female partner, does God switch sides to be with her? What if she abuses her child? A God who resists oppression does not love or hate, accept or despise one person in this scenario more than another. God resists the oppressive activity and calls each party to justice in their lives. (82)
~ From "Making a Way Out of No Way" by Monica A. Coleman

Peace

Peace is not ignoring the reality of the world, rather, it prevents us from seeing the world as narrowly we otherwise might. (69)
~ from Monica A. Coleman's book, "Making a Way Out of No Way."

I Hate That I Want It - Disney's "The Princess and The Frog"

I really do not want to want to see the new Disney movie, "The Princess and The Frog," but I have to admit that I do. I mean, I really want to see this movie. I do not like the fact that now that there is a black Disney princess, that now black girls are being welcomed into the open arms of commercial patriarchy. I would much rather the princess be an authentic African princess, rather than one that looks white and I really hope that no girl develops an eating disorder, because of this movie. (Yes, I know, eating disorders are all about control, but people would not try to control themselves through food and body image, if the impossible skinny girl was not the constant image in our society-they would find something else...)

But damn it, Disney musicals make me happy! I love musicals and there are not as many musical movies anymore, especially ones that are purely happy. I need positive energy and happiness and in this age of economic depression, I think the whole nation-maybe the whole world-needs something that is happy and uplifting. I really, really wish that the source of the happy and uplifting was not also filled with the stereotypes and nuances of the patriarchy, but perhaps we can think of it this way-perhaps now that all girls-well, except Latinas-believe they can be a Disney princess, maybe the day will come that all girls-including Latinas-believe they are worth as much as a princess.

The Inherent Racism in White Collar

Right now I am watching the show, "White Collar," and it is pretty entertaining, but as I am watching I cannot help but think about the racism inherent in the show. You see, in this show, the criminal is a white, white collar criminal and he is handsome, charming, and sympathetic. He is also given a break, as he gets to stay out of jail as long as helps the FBI. This would not happen if the criminal was a person of color. Our media likes to portray white criminals as outside the norm, which you see quite often in real news stories people repeat the saying, "I am so surprised-He seemed so calm!, " which is not the reaction that is portrayed when the criminal is of color. Also, I am sure that there are real white collar criminals that are black, but our media has to continue the narrative that all men of color are violent thugs. Imagine that the show is called, "White Collar," but that the main handsome, charming, sympathetic, male character is black. Now you know why the show would not sell-if a show does not stick to already established stereotypes, then it usually is doomed.