"Go With the Flow" - Celebrate Your Fertility

This piece of art is by Kat Grandy and is titled "Go With theFlow." This is what she says about the painting, "[...] I was painting this woman wild and free and since I love the color red these days I thought that maybe it would be good to show that red is a good thing - it pumps throughout our body and makes us a warm-blooded animal and so the blood that leaves our body does not have to be considered a bad thing either. It is real, bright, rich and a necessary part of our womaness. Hence - Go With the Flow."

I also believe that the color red "is a good thing." It's my favorite color and I often also use it to symbolize blood in my artwork. When I am feeling angry, sad, frustrated, or just introspective, I many times find myself exploring my feelings throught the use of the color red, though I tend to use either a red color pastel or thick paint.

When I looked at this red womyn, I noticed that her arms are spread as if she is on an invisible cross and I cannot help but think about how many times womyn are tortured for the ability to produce life.

I started my period today and I am glad! I have been really stressed out lately and was a little worried that it was late and that I may need to be concerned about my health. I saw my nutritionist yesterday, who is wonderful and who helped me feel like life is more manageable again. For most womyn who are not postmenopausal or pregnant, having their period means that they are healthy-that they are "wild and free" like the womyn in red who is going with the flow.

Healthy Anger

This is a older post from my recovery-centered blog, Hope IS Real! I am posting it here because I believe that white womyn, as a consequence of being placed upon a pedestal, are expected to suppress their anger, while womyn of color are considered less than human whenever they show their own rightful anger, while womyn with disabilities are presumed to not even be able to feel anger at all. And so...

Let me get this straight-there is nothing wrong with being angry!

I am an angry woman and I have been angry a very, very, very long time. My anger is not the problem. The only problem that comes from being angry is when someone does not know how to handle the anger or even worse, when they think that having anger makes them a bad person. What angers me the most is when I see parents tell their small children not to be angry. I remember one time when I was working at JCPenney's and as I watched a young couple leave with their young, moody child, I started to boil with rage, for I heard them tell him, "Don't be angry! You won't get pizza if you're angry!" I wanted to go over, pull the parents aside, and inform them being angry is healthy, but that telling their son how to feel is not and that they will damage their son's emotional growth if they try to control their son's feelings. But I didn't. The boy perked up and they left smiling, but I was left wondering what will happen to their relationship a few years down the road.

I was reminded of this when one of the facilitators at NAMI told a new person to not be angry. I responded by telling the new person that there is nothing wrong with being angry, but that she needs to find healthy ways of expressing her anger. You see, anger is not the problem-knowing what to do with it is.

I was an angry child-I see that now, but it took me a long time to realize that and I am only now learning how to positively handle my anger. Growing up there were constant yelling matches between my parents and my brother, who is three years older than I am. When I was in sixth grade, my brother was sent to a military academy and I am not mad about that. It made life easier and it did seem to help my brother-he and my parents get along much better now and he's got a great job as an officer in the Navy. But it did leave me angry at the time with no clue as to how to deal with it, so I starved my emotions. Anger, like fat, was designated "bad" in my mind, so I concentrated on how little I could eat, instead of dealing with my emotions. In fact, for a long time, I didn't even think I was capable of anger-just sadness. And that makes me sad.

So let me say it again-anger is not "bad," but not knowing how to deal with it is. Fortunately, that can change! One can learn how to constructively deal with anger. Express it! Talk about it! Don't let it remain stagnate!

Writing about my anger works well for me. Creating art that expresses how I feel works well too. Sometimes I need to do something mindless, like bearing down hard with a red crayon on a piece of paper, over and over and over again. Playing and singing to loud music does wonders. So does humor, so I will leave you with this quote from Stephen Colbert, "I retain all my vitamins, because I am always steamed!"

Remember, it is far better to be angry than apathetic.

What works for you?

Free Health Fair for Atlantan LGBT Folk on July 25

Feminist Fluff

I LOVE Dinosaur Comics! I must admit, though, that I thought the punchline at the end was going to be "feminists" instead of "romantic relationships." Thought I should share. (And feminists do not have a sense of humor, my ass!) Discuss!

For Afghani womyn, true liberation will not come by war!

Trigger Warning-Graphic images of abused womyn


Womyn are not free in Afghanistan! It is a myth! War destroys lives-it does not create peace! True peace and liberation for the Afghani womyn MUST come from within and from themselves!

I Am Not for Sale!

This is a piece of advice that I posted on my other blog, Hope is Real!:

I have worked in retail off and on for a long time, which unfortunately-as anyone who has worked in retail knows-means that I have been abused for a long time. Sears is no exception, but fortunately I have coworkers that make me feel comfortable and that told me that they would throw out any customers that tried any sexual harassment. I am very grateful for the support.

Now, I understand that sometimes when you do not get what you expected or are disappointed by the service you received that it is easy to get upset. But when I had a lady yell at me when I didn't even sell her the refrigerator that did not have the butter dish lid that she wanted, I decided that I need to write some rules of conduct when dealing with someone in sales. This advice also applies to dealing with anyone in the service industry, from fast food service to janitors to loaders.

1. When you are really angry about your service, step back for a minute, and think hard about what just happened. Is this valid anger? Is what happened really that bad? Will your life REALLY crumble just because the delivery man did not deliver the butter dish lid?

2. When you are yelling at the person on the other end of the phone and you are tempted to exclaim, "You're not listening to me!" Consider that perhaps you are not being clear enough for the other person to understand you.

3. Don't ever call a worker, "sweetie," "honey," "cutie," or anything similar to a worker-even if you are an elderly man from a quaint little southern town. It's fine to call someone those names when you know them, but if they are working, stick to "ma'am" or "sir" - it's what we call you!

4. Similarly, don't pat anybody on the head. It is offensive and demeaning to anyone who receives it. We are not little children who are grateful you gave us candy-we are adults who are doing our job.

5. Do not ask personal questions. It does not concern you whether I have a significant other or how old I am or where I live. I will not ask these things about you, as they are none of our business. I am trying to sell you a refrigerator, not my body.

6. Do not try to set up a worker with your best friend, son, daughter, or really, anybody else. I'll say it again: we are trying to sell you products, not our bodies.

7. Do not quiz us on our product knowledge if you already know the answer just to see if we know as much information as you. And don't laugh after doing this-it is extremely condescending and to people like me who have trouble with anxiety, extremely anxiety provoking.

8. Think before tarnishing a company's reputation over the mistakes of one individual. For instance, if a salesperson tells you that they would order you a butter dish lid and it would delivered to the house, but it is not-go back to #1! Think before you accuse someone of lying or of accusing the company of, "not being what it used to be." Even during those grand ole times that you remember when everything was lovely and worked right, workers sometimes got confused or tired or forgetful. Just like then, if someone made a mistake and then apologizes for it and then offers to do what's right, then things are still working right. Do not immediately jump to conclusions just because the person you are dealing with looks or talks differently from you.

Remember this: we are selling you a service and/or a product, not our bodies, souls, minds, love, or even friendship. We are business partners-you are not above me, nor are we above you. Treat us with respect and let us both keep our dignity and self-respect in tact.

Womyn of the Week - Bebe Moore Campbell 1950-2006

I know I said that this week would be about Dorothea Dix, but considering that the U.S. House of Representatives established July as National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month just last year, because of Bebe Moore Campbell, I decided I must write about her instead. The idea behind having a national month is "to increase public awareness of mental illness among diverse communities."

Campbell was the author of three New York Times bestsellers, Brothers and Sisters, Singing in the Comeback Choir, and What You Owe Me, which was also a Los Angeles Times "Best Book of 2001". Her other works include the novel Your Blues Ain't Like Mine, which was a New York Times Notable Book of the Year and the winner of the NAACP Image Award for Literature; her memoir, Sweet Summer, Growing Up With and Without My Dad; and her first nonfiction book, Successful Women, Angry Men: Backlash in the Two-Career Marriage. Her essays, articles, and excerpts appear in many anthologies.

Campbell's interest in mental health was the catalyst for her first children's book, Sometimes My Mommy Gets Angry, which was published in September 2003. This book won the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI) Outstanding Literature Award for 2003. The book tells the story of how a little girl copes with being reared by her mother, who has bipolar disorder. Ms. Campbell was a member of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill and a founding member of NAMI-Inglewood. Her book, 72 Hour Hold, is a novel that focuses on an adult daughter and a family's experience with the onset of mental illness. It helped educate Americans that the struggle often is not just with the illness, but with the health care system as well.

Her first play, "Even with the Madness", debuted in New York in June 2003. This work revisited the theme of mental illness and the family. Campbell's last book was another children's book, called I Get So Hungry, about childhood obesity.

As a journalist, Campbell wrote articles for The New York Times Magazine, The Washington Post, the Los Angeles Times, Essence, Ebony, Black Enterprise, as well as other publications. She was a regular commentator for Morning Edition, a program on National Public Radio.

She died in 2006 due to brain cancer.

Raising Awareness
During July, individuals and families can raise awareness of mental illness, treatment and research in diverse communities during this month by hosting special events and partnering with local businesses and organizations.

2009 National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month Events:

NAMI National will host a variety of sessions and events covering multicultural issues including a Town Hall meeting in honor of National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month during the NAMI 2009 Convention, July 6-9, in San Francisco.
NAMI Urban Los Angeles is planning a wealth of activities including a Veterans of Color Health and Wellness Fair, a ”Color of Justice” symposium and a quilting bee in honor of Bebe Moore Campbell, a founding member of the affiliate. Visit the NAMI Urban Los Angeles Web site for more information.
NAMI Tennessee will be hosting a Native American Mental Health Summit in late July as part of National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month.

The National Network to Eliminate Disparities in Behavioral Health (NNED) will host a Webinar on July 14 in partnership with the NAMI Multicultural Action Center. The Webinar will celebrate National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month by featuring presentations on how individuals across the country are working to raise mental health awareness among diverse communities. Click here to access the NNED Web site for further details and to register.