Recovery Feminism - A New Kind of Feminism

I just stopped following another blogger who is not positive enough for my recovery. I know that perhaps one of the biggest reasons why I do not get a lot of hits on my site is because I do not spend enough time reading and commenting on major feminist sites, but life is not a popularity contest. I write this blog, because I have something to say and if I do not write my thoughts out, then I will ruminate and ruminate and ruminate. I also a person who is in recovery and is trying to follow the path that leads to serenity and so I cannot spend my time at sites that continually disrupt my attempts at serene-living.

I consider myself to be an outspoken feminist and feminism does often call us to be angry, instead of complacent over how womyn are treated, but not ALL the time. I refuse to live my life always in anger-I must be more productive than that. My kind of feminism always acknowledges my journey in recovery. I do not know if there is a already a name for this type of feminism, but I suspect not, so I am naming it: Recovery Feminism.

Recovery feminism means that I am free to stop fighting for a certain cause or reading triggering material if it is causing me harm. It means that my recovery comes first, so if what I am doing for "The Cause" causes me to get incensed to the point that I no longer want to eat or start becoming depressed, then I must stop. It means that I must strive to promote sisterhood and peace in all my affairs. It means that while anger is an option, rage and hate is not.

There was a time when I was really upset about all of my limitations due to my mental illness, and I still hate it sometimes when I know that I cannot attend a rally or protest, because I am afraid that I will become too triggered or emotional, but I had to finally realized that I will not help any cause if I am curled up into a ball. I just won't. I am committed to my recovery, which means that I must surround myself with positivity and I cannot visit blog sites, even if they are wonderful writers, who allow attacking and/or hate speech on their comments section.

I know some feminists may think that by distancing myself that I am copping out, but I sincerely believe that acknowledging and positively feeding my worth as a human being is a more than valid feminist response. Surely promoting peace and sisterhood are, right?

Veteran's Day and Mental Illness

This Veteran's Day, let us not only remember all those that physically died or became wounded in war, but also all those who suffer from horrible mental illness.
(picture from the blog, SteveAudio, portraying a soldier suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

From Nami.org

GRIM STATISTICS

Almost one in three veterans returning from Afghanistan and Iraq confront mental health problems.

On an average day in this country, suicide claims another 18 veterans.

Approximately 30 percent of veterans treated in the veterans health system suffer from depressive symptoms, two to three times the rate of the general population.

More Vietnam veterans have now died from suicide than were killed directly during the war.

Approximately 40 percent of homeless veterans have mental illnesses.

Support Gray Matters Behavioral Health Caucus on Nov. 9

From a NAMI email:

Support the Gray Matters Behavioral Health Caucus on November 9, 2009. This is the second quarterly caucus for mental health champions in the legislature to meet and learn what is happening and what can be done about it. Our first caucus was held on August 8.

We all know how often we hear or talk about Georgia ’s broken and failing mental health system. Now we can do something about it.

Last year, we had maybe 10 - 12 Champions, legislators who really went to bat for mental health, and we got a new department of Behavioral Health and a new mental health ombudsman Imagine what could happen if we had 50 legislators this year to champion our cause. We could really make things happen.

We began working on this idea in May. Then in June, the new Commissioner of the Dept of BHDD suggested that a Caucus of 50 legislators would be a great idea. We said “We thought so too, and had already begun working on it!”

We’ve done a lot to set it up, like getting Host legislators and a place in the Capitol to have the event. We have 12 legislative and 19 organizational co-hosts. Everyone is getting on board, even the Governor and Lt. Governor’s offices support the initiative.

But we need your help. We need to make sure that as many legislators show up as possible. So we’re asking you to contact both your State Senator and your State Representative and ask them to attend. Let them know how important it is to you that they care about mental health.


Go to Congress.org, which allows you to send an e-mail while on the web site. Click on the link below and then, in the box that is titled My Elected Officials, enter your 5 digit zip code in the top zip code box and then enter your 4 digit "+4" numbers in the bottom zip code box and click "GO". There is no need to enter your full address. On thee next page, in the same box, you will see the titles and names of your elected officials. Find your state Senators and Representatives and click on their name's. You will be taken to a page with additional information about each.

Spook Somewhere Else, Please!

Happy All Saint's Day!

Did everyone have a wonderful Halloween? I was a little disappointed in that we had very few trick or treaters this year and even fewer gory/spooky costumes!

But I was more than disappointed when I was watching a show that day telling about various commercial haunted houses in the USA and several take place in an old insane asylum. Sure, these places are creepy and so are the perfect places to scare people for money, but these places were at one time real places where people were tortured in the name of health. People have really died in these places! Does honoring our dead only apply to the sane?

I know that because of my being hospitalized several times that I am more sensitive to this issue, but even so, I just feel like all people who have suffered so horribly deserve our respect and that all the dead should rest in peace.
Light a candle in honor of a loved one today.

Chilling, but True...

In the spirit of the season, a chillingly true tale sure to give you goosebumps:
Earlier this year, the nation's public mental health care system for adults received the average grade of D... the same grade it received three years ago.

Despite the ghastly grade, many lawmakers continue to cut funding to mental health services as a way to offset the struggling economy.

The state of our mental health care system is frightening.

Your generous contribution supports NAMI's fight to awaken our nation from this nightmare and continue our work to improve the lives of everyone affected by mental illness. Go to Nami.org for more.

The Center Cannot Hold: My Journal Through Madness by Elyn Saks - a Book Review

After a few more rounds of questions, the doctors carefully explained their recommendations to me. In England, treatment recommendations were always just that-recommendations. To leave a hospital, to stay in it, to take medications, to participate in group activities or not-they never forced any of it on me, and each time the decision was mine. Even at my craziest, I interpreted this as a demonstration of respect. When you're really crazy, respect is like a lifeline someone's throwing you. Catch this and maybe you won't drown.

from the book, The Center Cannot Hold: My Journey Through Madness, by Elyn R. Saks

Respect is so important. I firmly believe that along with the essentials needed to survive like food, shelter, and clothing, that human beings need respect and love. When I was in the fifth grade, which is when I learned about Maslow's hierarchy, I wrote my health book company and stated this belief. I stated that it has been proven that babies who are never touched except to change their diapers do not learn how to walk or talk. We need each other to care for each other. The health book company said that while this is preferred, technically, though, the baby is still alive, even if it is developmentally delayed. I still stand behind what I wrote at age eleven. There are plenty of people who are technically "alive," but are spiritually or emotionally dead. This is unacceptable.

As Saks observed, respect needs to be shown to everyone, even those who are "crazy." We are all human and we all have the capacity to be great people and so should be respected. It has been very hard for me to read Saks' book, which is a book about her experiences with schizophrenia, because I have schizoaffective disorder myself. Her story is one of success, but it is too hard for me to read about her struggles and so I am making the decision to set myself up for success by recommending it, but waiting to finish it another time.

Unfortunately, perhaps, I have never been hospitalized in England, but I have in America four times-each time in a locked unit and each time, I had an experience that severely lacked respect. Respect IS a lifeline and the people that have shown me respect and compassion when I have been "crazy" mean more to me than words can say and I would do almost anything for those people. Medicine helps, but so far there is no medical 100% cure for any kind of mental illness. Respect cannot cure all things either, but when it is combined with the medicine, miracles happen. It should not have to be said that therapists should respect their clients (note: I consider the word "consumer" to be derogatory and it will never be used on this blog to describe those living with mental illness. We are not walking dollar signs.), but I have run into many therapists and doctors who I think consider themselves above respecting their client as a person. Fortunately, the one I currently see and my last one are/were fabulous therapists.

Respect, compassion, and love need to be shown to every one you meet. Give dignity where it's due.

Support NAMI - Donate to NAMI Walks

On Oct. 3rd, this Saturday, NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) GA is having a walk-a-thon in order to raise money to help pay for the services that they provide for our community. I will be there that day volunteering my time and I hope that after reading why NAMI is important that you will donate a little bit of money towards the group in my name by going here. Even if you can’t, please pass this announcement to someone else, because awareness about mental health advocacy is ultimately the goal.

NAMI is the nation’s largest grassroots advocacy group for mental illness and I am a member of the Gwinnett branch. This group is dedicated to breaking the stigma surrounding mental illness by educating all the people in a community – those with mental illness, family members, police officers, even President Obama, as representatives from NAMI recently met with him during a summit on mental health. But the reason I am asking you to support NAMI is personal!

If you are reading this, then you probably already know that I have mental illness. The two main ones are schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type and an eating disorder, which means that I get stressed out more easily than most and that when I do, the consequences can be quite severe.

In 2007 and 2008, I moved away from my support system in Atlanta to try to obtain a degree in music therapy. I did well in the music therapy program, but unfortunately, I often felt stigmatized by the fact that there were almost no appropriate mental health resources for me in all of central Georgia. I suffered a relapse in my eating disorder and when I came back and tried seeing a new psychiatrist in Milledgeville, I was sexually harassed. After that incident, I knew that I could not stay for much longer in a town that could not meet my needs.

When I came back home in December 2008, I had to find a new mental health support group, but fortunately, I knew that there was a NAMI group nearby and I started attending regularly. The first time I went it was a wonderful, supportive experience. I no longer attend as regularly as I used to, but I am still thankful that they are there and every time I do go, I see that same joy on each newcomer’s face.

Right now, I am currently taking NAMI’s Peer 2 Peer class, which is a free class that is taught by a peer – someone with a mental illness – to a peer. It is a positive experience, providing me with more coping skills and education.

NAMI needs your support in order to continue providing these classes for free. The organization has not only classes for peers, but for family members, and even members of our police force have taken mental health sensitivity training, as provided by NAMI. Obviously, supporting NAMI is not just about supporting me, but about supporting our community, our safety, and our leaders. Perhaps one day there will not be the kind of overwhelming stigma and lack of resources that I have experienced in these past few years. Can you help me achieve these goals?

NAMI GA's Family to Family Class Needs YOU!!!

The National Alliance on Mental Illness of Georgia is offering the Family-to-Family Education Program at the offices of the Dream Center of Walton – Gwinnett starting Monday, September 14 at 7:00 p.m. and running for 11 consecutive weeks for 2 and ½ hours each Monday night.

The Dream Center Offices are located at:

109 Lee Byrd Rd
Loganville, Ga. 30052
404-387-5740

The NAMI Family-to-Family Education Program is a free, 11-week course for family, friends, loved ones and caregivers of individuals with severe mental illnesses.
● The course is taught by trained family members
● All instruction and course materials are free to class participants
● Over 115,000 family members have graduated from this national program

Call or e-mail Brenda Vinson to register
678-231-6263 or 770-338-0468
bvquilts@bellsouth.net
Class size is limited so register now!
Check our website for more information
www.namiga.org
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Currently NAMI only has two people signed up to take it and if ten more people do not register soon, then the class will be canceled! Learning about mental illness and how to help yourself and your family member is one of the most important things you can do, plus the class is free, so please do not hesitate to sign-up! And feel free to let others know about the class.

How a Radical Feminist Can Still Have an Eating Disorder

This is an older posting from my other blog, Hope is Real!

I am hesitant to write about this, but I feel I must, so here goes:

A couple of weeks ago, I was standing in the hall near my therapist’s office writing out her check and I see her out of the corner of my eye help her next client step onto a scale. All at once, I am consumed with envy! And then shame. How can I claim to be a radical feminist and yet want to be sick? And it’s true. The woman on the scale was crying and I was and am still insanely jealous.

My therapist last week also asked me why I wanted to be sick. That evening, right before my writing group, as I was convincing myself to eat a turkey and cheese sub at Savage Pizza, I wrote out my thoughts on the pad of paper that I carry with me wherever I go. This is what I wrote:

“I feel the need to accomplish something great and that is how I, a radical feminist, can fall victim to an eating disorder-somehow-and I do credit society with this-I have internalized the message that to be superskinny-to be thin to the point of death-is a great and wonderful accomplishment. And I fully blame society for this. When “The biggest loser is a big hit on TV, when Jessica Simpson is labeled fat, when Jessica Alba is lauded for working out so hard to get back to her pre-pregnant weight that she cries, when subsisting on a liquid diet that includes maple syrup and cayenne pepper is deemed a healthy and acceptable way to lose weight (Beyonce), then I have every right to be angry and to blame society for murdering the souls and bodies of people in this land. I grew up watching and idolizing TV and by, I believe, simply growing up in this country with the added bonus of having the mental illness called schizoaffective disorder wired into my brain, it is no wonder that I struggle with an eating disorder. In fact, I believe it is much more miraculous to be doing as well as I am!”

Perhaps I should have said, “media,” instead of society, but I’m not going to change a single word of what I wrote in that moment. Of course, there is more to it than the media. Eating disorders are strongly linked with obsessive compulsive disorder and with family relationships, but I sometimes wonder how my OCD would manifest itself if it wasn’t spent obsessing about food and weight and looks.

2008 was a rough year-I feel like a victim of a war between the gods struggling to cope with the aftermath. I relapsed in my eating disorder and had to be hospitalized; I moved in with a friend, only to realize that she too was unstable and so lived in my car for two weeks; I was sexually harassed by a psychiatrist and by several customers at the store where I worked; all leading me to the conclusion that I could not, at least for now, finish my education to fulfill my dream job of being a music therapist, but must instead leave the negativity that seems to reside in the lovely little town of Milledgeville and move back home.

But I can write and embroider and college and play piano and attend writing groups and get involved with NAMI (the National Alliance on Mental Illness-America’s largest grassroots mental illness advocacy group). And be honest!-which is what radical feminism to me is all about! I no longer care about much about discussing fancy theories, but in telling my truth. My personal is very political! Georgia’s public mental health care sucks and that’s putting it nicely! The insurance from the college I just came from, Georgia College and State University, would not pay for my reviving had I tried to commit suicide! And I tell you, when I first read that statement in my insurance policy, I finally knew what it felt to feel inhuman-that according to law, a person with mental illness (for those who commit suicide do suffer from an illness) is better off dead. As I write this, I feel fury gather in my veins, and I tell you feminists-it is time you include the women and men who live with mental illness-that skinny woman crying on the scale may be your embarrassment, but she is still a woman!

(BTW, this post was also cross-posted on one of my favorite blogs in February, Womanist Musings!)

Womyn of the Week - Arlene Istar Lev and Her Thought-Provoking Article, "Feminism and Psychiatric Diagnosis"

Much is written about mental illness, but alas, rarely from a feminist perspective.

I found this article online and found it to be thought-provoking and well-written and wanted to share it. The article is written by Arlene Istar Lev, LCSW, CASAC, is a social worker, family therapist, educator, and writer whose work addresses the unique therapeutic needs of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people. She is the founder of Choices Counseling Associates in Albany, New York, providing family therapy for LGBT people. She is also on the adjunct faculties of S.U.N.Y. Albany, School of Social Welfare, and Vermont College of the Union Institute and University. She is the author of The Complete Lesbian and Gay Parenting Guide (Penguin Press, 2004) and Transgender Emergence: Therapeutic Guidelines for Working with Gender-Variant People and their Families (Haworth Press, 2004). Additionally, she maintains a “Dear Ari” advice column, which is currently published in Proud Parenting and Transgender Tapestry. She is also the Founder and Project Manager for Rainbow Access Initiative, a training program on LGBT issues for therapists and medical professionals, and a Board Member for the Family Pride Coalition. Her “In a Family Way” column on LGBT parenting issues is nationally syndicated. She is an activist, a writer, a gardener and a mom. Lev is Sundance's partner, and Shaiyah's momma.

*This biography is mainly taken from http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2006/02/15/five-questions-with-ari-istar-lev/06/02/15/five-questions-with-ari-istar-lev/.

This article is in response to a previous one published in The Women's Building News and I regret that I could not find the issue that she is addressing.
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As a feminist therapist, I found the last issue of The Women's Building News on mental illness as a feminist issue to be well-written and timely. I thought Janet Chassman's article was an excellent overview of many of the issues, and the coverage of both cultural diversity and legal issues to be important areas to examine. Despite the cover title, "The Last Closet", may I dare to suggest that there are still many many closets left to open in our feminists communities, and though issues of psychiatric disabilities is one of them, it is certainly not the "last."

Focusing on the treatment of women within the psychiatric system is an important issue, however, I must admit to being somewhat surprised by the lack of critique of the psychiatric system in general. The absence of any discussion regarding the use of language and labeling as a feminist mental health issue -- including such terms as "mental illness" and "psychiatric disorder" -- was glaring in its absence. The psychiatric profession is permeated by Eurocentric, patriarchal, racist, sexist, and homophobic thinking that has done enormous damage to the mental health of women, children and people of color.

The psychiatric profession has developed a manual to label mental illnesses. This document, The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, called the DSM, is in its fourth revision, and is extremely controversial in a number of ways. In my role as a Social Work educator, I teach Master's level students how to utilize the DSM; as a feminist and holistic practitioner I also teach them to be very wary of labeling. The DSM is the primary tool used by the managed care system to determine insurance reimbursement, and eligibility for disability determinations; it is often utilized in legal settings and educational institutions. To paraphrase Audre Lorde's eloquent statement, "Can we tear down the master's house using the master's tools?"

Diagnosis is a political tool. It has been used to medicate angry and powerless women and to take away our children. It has been used to hospitalize political activists and other radicals. In the not very distant past women were routinely diagnosed with Hysteria, and treated with clitorectomies! In the latter part of the 1800's African slaves were diagnosed with drapetomania, which was believed to be a blood disorder, and according to the diagnostic texts, was "cured by whipping"!!! Benjamin Rush, the "father of modern psychiatry" believed that the reasons Africans had dark skin was because they had a form of leprosy which he called Negritude, and to the embarrassment of his biographers, worked diligently his whole life towards a "cure." Other medical textbooks list the size of men's heads to prove that people of African descent had smaller brains, and that people with larger noses (Semitic people) had certain communicable diseases. Homosexuality was considered a psychopathology until approximately 20 years ago, which meant that ALL gays, lesbians, and bisexuals were diagnosed with this "psychiatric illness."

If the above examples sound absurd, or irrelevant, remember that the removal of these diagnoses is only within the last 100-150 years, and as I will outline below, many current diagnoses are equally offensive. The popularity, utilization, and frequency of particular diagnoses changes with the seasons. Whether "illnesses" are viewed as biological, psychological, behavioral, or moral shifts back and forth throughout history. Behaviors that are considered "normal" in one country are considered "psychopathologies" in another. Diagnoses that are considered rare in one part of the country, are considered "rampant" in others.

For example, in the late 1880's upper class white women in England and the U.S. were diagnosed with Conversion Disorder whereas they would suddenly lose the ability to see or walk, without any known physical reason. Women also displayed symptoms of Hysteria -- manifested by fainting, yelling, and depressive "fits." It is interesting to note these illnesses, and behavior manifestations, are today extremely rare, and was considered rare then among poor women, women of color and women from other countries. Today women are commonly diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Multiple Personality Disorder (now Dissassociative Disorder).

It is clear to most therapists today, -- due to the powerful lobbying of feminist therapists over the last two decades --, that most of the above disorders are the results of trauma, most commonly physical and sexual abuse. Can the same illness manifest in different ways at different times? Do women who are traumatized by abuse, exhibit different symptomologies across class and racial lines? Can it be that human beings manifest certain symptoms in ways that are politically and socially acceptable within certain historical times? Certainly it cannot be true that only wealthy white women in Victorian England were being traumatized, but the symptom and behaviors of other women were not perceived as important, or perhaps poor women and women of color were not "treated" for medical problems, but punished by the penal system.

The DSM does not identify mental illnesses by their etiology (i.e. their causes) but rather by their effects. This means that if three women are sexually abused one might be labeled with depression ,one might be labeled with anxiety, and one might be labeled with bulimia, -- if those are the principal manifesting symptoms. The unhealthy ways a woman copes with the trauma becomes the avenue for diagnosis, instead of labeling the way she was victimized, or recognizing the healthy ways she has adapted in order to survive.

Changes in the DSM are not immune from political pressure. Some changes are beneficial, others more problematic. For instance some positive changes in the past 50 years include the shift from viewing Alcoholism as a moral problem to a medical one, the removal of Homosexuality from the DSM, and the utilization of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in treating victims and survivors of incest, domestic violence, and sexual assault.

Current trends that are more questionable include the labeling of children with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and Gender Identity Disorder. The numbers of children labeled with ADD continues to rise yearly, -- young males, and particularly young African-American males are most often labeled. Are more children having attention problems now than they were 20 years ago, or has something else changed about our society, our school system, or perhaps how we view the normal energy of young males? Is it possible that something about the energy of young Black boys is so frightening to our society that we need to medicate it?

In the last issue it was stated that "1 in 5 children/adolescents may have a diagnosable mental disorder." Statistics like these frighten me, and I am left wondering who was the researcher who studied this social malady. Could it perhaps be the pharmaceutical companies, or perhaps, the administrators of psychiatric hospitals? As managed care has become more and more resistant to paying for services for adults, the concerns for young children have suddenly risen. Many managed care programs are willing to pay large sums of money to support the "care" of disturbed young people, and many psychiatric hospitals have suddenly re-focused their entire treatment programs on the care of young people. We cannot ignore the role that profit plays in the diagnosing and treatment of vulnerable populations.

One of the common "new" diagnoses that young people are given is Gender Identity Disorder. This diagnosis is for children whose behavior and manner deviate from the accepted socially sanctioned appropriate gender behavior of boys and girls. Since Homosexuality was removed from the DSM in 1973, this has become the new diagnosis for young gays and lesbians. It has been used to treat gender transgressive young people who are gay, transgendered and/or just plain rebellious with shock therapy, medications, and hospitalizations in some cases lasting for 5 and 6 years. Can you tell me that this is not feminist backlash? The psychiatric profession is an institutionalized arm of a sexist, heterosexist, and transphobic patriarchal system. Diagnosis, I repeat, is political.

In the last issue of Women's Building News, the word Depression was frequently used as a psychiatric label. I am aware that this is technically correct (i.e. Depression is listed in the DSM) and I am also aware that severe or chronic Depressions can be debilitating and disabling. However, most people do experience some depressive episodes in their lifetimes, and I would argue that, like colds and intestinal flues, they are a part of the ebb and flow of health and illness within a "normal" human lifecycle. Depressions require familial and perhaps therapeutic support -- and maybe even pharmacological support --, but calling it a psychiatric illness??? "Depressions" can also be times of transformational change in people's lives -- spiritually referred to as "dark nights of the soul", -- times of reflection and self-examination.

I want to be clear that I am not in anyway denying the pain that human beings experience or the horrible realities of addictions, depressions, behavioral disorders in children, or dissociation in trauma survivors. I have dedicated my life to working with people who are struggling with these realities. I am saying that it is not entirely clear to me what words like "mental illness", "mental health", "psychiatric disorder" -- or even words like "treatment" -- mean. I am saying that diagnoses have been used historically to hurt and repress women and children, homosexuals and bisexuals, people of color, people who are genderly "different", and that I am very very leery to use the language of that system without clearly asking what it means and to whom.

Feminism has taken the psychiatric profession to task in the last few decades questioning the overuse of psycho-pharmacological intervention, and questioning diagnoses like Co-dependency, Pre-Menstrual Syndrome, Battered Women's Syndrome, and Borderline Personality Disorder. I was surprised that in a feminist publication there was so little questioning of the institutional sexism of the psychiatric system, and only a focus on how the system can better serve women who are already victimized by it.

I believe that as feminists who care about the mental health of women, children, and those we love, we must look at the patriarchal system of labeling illness with some skepticism. We must, of course, dismantle the stigma attached to "mentally ill" people, and work toward humane treatment and adequate resources. However, we must also examine the mental health system as a tool of the patriarchy, and cease labeling human differences as psychopathologies. We must stop hiding behind psychiatric diagnoses and examine the realities of trauma, oppression and abuse on the lives of women and children.

*Everything in bold is my own emphasis.

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Note: While I was looking up the pages for the links for this post, I found some really interesting stuff!

On Benjamin Rush: While studying psychiatry, Rush devised two curious instruments, the gyrator, based on the principle of centrifugal action to increase cerebral circulation, and the tranquilizer, "to obviate these evils of the 'strait waistcoat' and at the same time to obtain all the benefit of coercion". These instruments provided a form of shock therapy, which was interpreted as effecting cures according to his theory involving nervous states.

Just reading the technical language for the diagnosis and treatment of Gender Identity Disorder made me want to hurl.

What Lev didn't mention was that one of the "cures" for Conversion Disorder, also known as "hysteria," was the use of a vibrator. These are ads from a 1918 Sears catalog. If only they were still sold at the store I frequent!